Warning: this actually is a “letter to the editor,” and not some parody concocted by the Waking Dogs!
Dear Green Fuse Folks:
A satisfied reader of many years, I’m thanking your for another great year of providing comic relief under the guise of “news”! Great conspiracy rag written/edited by a bunch of losers on government handout money.
Just letting you know that I frequent a lot of the Businesses you plant your paper in, and that I’ve taken it on myself to make copies of “The Green Fuse” disappear. I am making a reduction of circulated copies my business because you paper does not have an opinion page. I’ll continue thwarting your rag this way until you relent and start printing letters to the editor. If you claim to be all about democracy, you will open you paper to opinion. If you can’t handles outside opinion you might as well forget publishing this sorry excuse of a tabloid.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.